Posts Tagged ‘Me’

3rd Shift Helpdesk

// March 2nd, 2006 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Boredom reigns on the 3rd shift here at the IT helpdesk.  Which is really a good thing, but I got nothing to do but make this blog.  We will see how long this one lasts.  I have tried before and I have not kept them updated at all.  Anyway, this one is going to be about the boring life of a 3rd shift IT helpdesk employee who is also one of the 6 million World of Warcraft addicts out there.

New job?

// October 28th, 2005 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Yeah, never mind about that new job thing. I was fired today. I can’t believe this!! I am truly in a deep pit of self-loathing currently. Apparently I don’t have enough knowledge for an entry level position. That is why I was let go today. The boss tells me that I just didn’t know enough to do what they want me to do. Wow, I am worthless and unskilled, basically. I guess I’ll just work some mindless drone job for the rest of my life. Probably have to work 2 or 3 of them since they don’t pay for shit. I really feel like school and degrees are a fucking waste of time and money. I mean, fuck, I could answer telephones or work a cash register as soon as I was old enough to get a job. Now it looks like I’m stuck doing that shit forever. I’ll never do anything I like. I wish I could sell my degrees. I need money way more and they are worthless to me. Well, I gotta go get some applications from the local Holiday and Super America gas stations. Maybe they will both give me a job. Then I can work until it kills me at a job I hate myself for going to everyday until I can’t do it anymore and . . .

New Job

// September 24th, 2005 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Well, today I finally landed a job. It’s a tech job too. I think for the most part I will be doing tech support, but as the third full time employee in the company I will get a lot of experience in a lot of different areas. I am so excited about it! I will be doing so many things I that will be valuable for me to learn. I can’t thank them enough at this point. I’m not sure if they really know it at this point or not, but this is huge for me. I will be able to gain experience that will benefit my whole career at this point. In the interview they even mentioned that they may on day fund my dream to start my own game development company. Wow, I don’t know what is to come of my future at this point, but I do know that it is a lot sweeter then it was a day ago. Congratulation to myself on taking the initiative to go for what I want. I know that this will invaluable to my future. I also thank CC Tech Ventures fot this opportunity, and may we benefit each other for years to come. My heart is filled with joy and I am very anxious to do well. I will give you all I have, this I promise.

Tattoos

// September 8th, 2005 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I really want to get a new tattoo.  Of course it don’t help that I’m sitting here watching Miami Ink.  I love those guys.  I would love to get some ink done by those guys.  I have never really taken a vacation let alone travel all the way to Florida to get some ink work.  I know what I want to get though, but I am not sure exactly what it’s going to look like.  I know that I want to get a dragon down the left side of my back.  I want it to be mostly blue with some greens and maybe some gold.  I also want to get some Japanese calligraphy for Soldier, but I am still doing research on that.

Conflict!

// September 8th, 2005 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I have issues I really don’t want to really openly discuss, but it is really causing me pain.  It’s a serious tension between my wife and I, and I don’t know how to make it better.  Fight my body or fight my love.  What a conflict!  Of course I have to satisfy my wife, over myself, but it’s going to be a very hard journey.

I really need some help.

// August 20th, 2005 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Living as an adult with undiagnosed ADHD is truly a challenge that I have real problems dealing with.  I really think that I need help, but I can’t afford it being unemployed.  It’s a huge strain on my relationship with my wife, and she is really feeling it after so many years.  It only gets worse and worse as time goes by.  I also suffer from depression which, through research, I have found really go hand in hand.  I have really only started realizing my problems, and it totally makes sense to me, but again seeking help is the issue.  I usually feel like all is hopeless and I try to tell myself that it’s not really, it’s just my mental issues making me think that.  However, I still can’t help but feel this way.  I used to be able to deal with it a lot better then I can now.  Everything is so scattered in my head I get so confused and overwhelmed.  Thoughts come and go so fast I can’t remember what I was thinking two seconds ago.  I can’t get organized and simple tasks seem extremely daunting.  I have been researching sites such as www.add.org, www.chadd.org.  They all say the same thing really.  Seek help from a physiatrist and/or an ADHD coach.  I would love to get better and maybe some day I will, but for now the job search continues.

Update:
I started a new blog to deal write about this issue.

Update:I am now getting help for this. It’s been a long journey and I just did not have the will power/ability to battle this one on my own. counseling and some medication and I am way to a much better life.

Green tea and Japanese

// August 18th, 2005 // No Comments » // Cool stuff

I love green tea.  I have just started drinking it regularly.  I tried it in the past and got those boxed teas in individual tea bags, and that was not the best stuff.  I found some loose tea in a local supermarket and that was much better.  I have been drinking that and I think I want to get a teapot for green tea and some really good green tea from Japan.  This is the site I found and it seems like it’s the best.  I really want to get some of the Kanro Gyokuro or Netto Gyokuro.  I have been practicing a little Japanese Hiragana.  I would love to learn to speak, read, and write the language.  I joined this site, and this one in an attempt to learn a little, but I have not really gotten into it yet.  The most I have been doing is practicing writing these sounds; あいうえおかきくけこ.  That is as far as I have gotten really.  Not much I know, but it’s something.  I feel Japanese could really help me out in the gamming industry, in addition to a general curiosity for the language and culture.

Moblog and life update

// August 18th, 2005 // No Comments » // Web Development

I started a Moblog at textamerica.com.  Not many photos yet, but I’m going to try and carry my camera with me more.  It should be fun, but I don’t go places very often.  I am usually stuck to the chair I’m sitting while making this post.  Using the new Word add-on from Blogger, I might add.  I think is good since I usually write a post in Word and copy it over to my browser anyway.  

Life is getting pretty boring now.  I can’t believe it, but I think I need to either get a job or start getting out of the house more often.  I am trying to get a job.  I don’t want to make it seem like I’m not.  I really want to get a job in programming or computers some how.  I need to get better with follow ups.  I think that’s why I don’t get any responses to my applications.  I have decided that I have a lot of good skills, and I really feel good about that.  I just need a chance to use them in a job instead of just in school.

(2/13/07 - My Moblog no longer exists)

Man, time flies.

// August 13th, 2005 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Well, today I turn 26. Wow, time just seems to pass by so quick. 30 is sneaking up on me, and I’m still not doing a damn thing. I need to do something about that, but what I need to do and what I do is usually entirely different. 26! I can’t believe it. It’s time to get in gear or fail all together. I need to find my focus soon or it’s over.

So you want to be a game designer? article on GameSpot.

// July 22nd, 2005 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

This is great to see. I loved reading it. Game design in a nutshell by some of the industries best know game designers.